This picture of the four favourite women in my life was taken around June 15 2015. Julie along with Leah,Hannah and Nathan’s then girlfriend, now fiancé, Georgia were having a pre-party cocktail. It was less than two weeks after Julie had been given the news she had around three months to live, they all look happy???. So here I am sat in my office, contemplating wether or not to write this next piece. Well I’ve decided to share something personal with all of you but first let me tell you about a couple of instances which have occured during the last four weeks.
There had been a couple of times when I thought I caught a glimpse of Julie out of the corner of my eye, once when I’d cooked for the whole family on a Sunday. There have also been a number of times I have heard Julie call me. More recently early one morning, (I tend to get up around 5-45) I realised my left arm was out from under the duvet, not only that but I could feel the warmth of someone holding my hand I looked up and there was Julie, she smiled then faded away. I knew it was her because when holding her hand her’s was so small, mine folded around it like a glove. This morning, I awoke, as usual before my alarm, I was aware of the weight of someone in the bed next to me! I turned and could feel the person leaving the bed, “thank you Julie” I said out loud.
One more example, I have always had the habit of falling asleep with my spectacles on, Julie would always get out of bed and take them off then fold them up and place them on the bedside table. The other morning, I found my specs at the bottom of the bed, on what was Julie’s side, the corner of the duvet had been turned neatly back and there were my glasses, folded!??
Now I’m pretty sure many of you are out there thinking, “he’s off his rocker!” but no this is not the case. When I was a child I used to see people that the rest of my couldn’t see. I was credited with an over active imagination by my parents. Even when I was extreemly ill with pnumonia when I was around six years old and I had what I now know was a near death experience, watching my mum sitting on the end of my bed, stroking my forehead, floating way up high while connected to my body with a sort of iridescent cord. I told my mother the story, she smiled and said “did you darling?”. I don’t think she really believed me.?
So what’s so personal about all of the above? Well over the last 11 weeks, I seem to have undegone a change, my mind seems once again to be more receptive to all what is happening in the non-physical world. I think, no I’m pretty sure, the stress of looking after Julie over a period of time and running a business and home somehow has been lifted. Our home is clean and tidy, I’ve swapped the flowery duvet covers and bed linen for some which are more masculine and more to my taste. All of those houshold “chores” which were a drag along with everything else I had going on are now more of a diversion. Cooking is once again not something which has to be done, but more of the joy it used to be to me.?
Although I’m a widower, I feel Julie is still here and I like to think she’s the one who has promted me to get all the Christmas cards written early, order the Turkey (three weeks ago) do all the Christmas shopping and get the presents wrapped before the end of November. This year I’m cooking Christmas dinner for twelve including the grandsons, I’m sure Julie will be in the kitchen trying to direct the operation!??
Thanks for reading ?