It’s a funny old thing living without your wife, you tend to eat alone, think your thoughts alone without anyone to discuss them with, in fact everything you do on a daily basis you’re alone unless you’ve a supportive family. Fortunately I’m lucky enough to have that support.
Julie and I always nurtured our family, not because we wanted anything else but for them to grow into well rounded, loving human beings. Luckily we succeeded, not by design but by accident really. Sure, Julie read all of the “parenting” books but none of them really prepare you for the task ahead.
So what has this to do with being a widower? Last weekend I spent a couple of days ripping my eldest daughter, Leah and her husbands’ garden apart to remodel it to make it grandson friendly. This weekend I spent Saturday with Leah and my two youngest grandsons first at an aviation museum in Tangmere ( let’s face it, all boys like aeroplanes, right?) then on to Porchester Castle because all boys like castles too!
Sunday morning, the younger of my two girls, Hannah and her partner Matt pay a visit with his two daughters (eldest grandson Jack is with his father for the weekend). Then off to Julie’s mum and dads for lunch, back around 3.30pm to sit and write my first blog for several weeks.
So what has all this to do with being a Widower? It makes you feel wanted when you feel empty! I’ve met people from all walks of life throughout my 60 plus years and one thing I’ve learnt about folk is they really care only about there own lives because basically it’s human nature to do so! Do I blame them? Of course not, so I try to live my life quietly and within my family circle which includes a few friends too. One thing I know though, my life although filled with sadness has purpose in the future.
When you lose someone you’ve been with for two thirds of your life you change. Your outlook on life changes and somehow I’d like to be able to imprint my life knowledge into others. I’d like to tell politicians to stop pulling the wool over our eyes. I’d like to remind doctors that in years past, a medical career was a vocation albeit well paid. I’d like to remind big organisations, their staff are what makes their companies, not the greedy shareholders.
Finally I’d like to share a little spiritual knowledge, in the light of the upcoming EU referendum:
Change is not something to be frightened of, but, something to be embraced and used to your own advantage and to the advantage of others.