I haven’t written and posted since May 3rd, not because I’ve been stuck for words but we’ve been busy work wise and with all the issues that entails.
Julie is not faring well on the latest chemo. After her latest treatment, she had to spend almost a full week in bed recovering, not so good, not feeling well enough even to walk downstairs. The one thing you get to find out when you are close to someone with cancer is they are not the only one. Also, there is always someone whose battle seems harder and fortunately, there are some who make a full recovery.
A long standing client of mine, “John” has spent a good part of his later years caring for his wife who started off with breast cancer, it then spread to her jaw which she had re built but she made a full recovery. Now John has the disease, prostrate cancer and just for good measure also in his lymph glands. I know his wife will be there for him but life is cruel sometimes.
Then there is “Ann” Ann is an ex nurse, her husband had a major heart attack and died around the time she was diagnosed with cancer four years ago. Ann’s disease is in her lungs, liver and her bones. When I first met her she explained she had been very ill and we would have to conduct our business while she sat down. Once I had told her about Julie, we got on very well.
Ann too is a brave lady, we always have a laugh and joke about life and the way it keeps tripping you up! This week while I was hanging some new doors for her she told me she had a couple of appointments at the hospital, one for some radiotherapy and another for a scan. She got up on Wednesday I asked her how she had got on. “Not good, it’s got worse, no wonder I feel so rubbish! Anyway back over today to get the results” she added.
Thursday her daughter in law told me Ann had been given no longer than eight weeks to live. Everyone went off to work, I carried on working. A little while later Ann was up. ” I suppose you’ve heard? She asked. “Yep, it’s a nasty little feller, that cancer, but I have to say Ann you just don’t have the look of a dying lady!” I reply. A little while later that day she went off with her son for lunch and to the garden centre.
I typed up her invoice the following day and emailed it to her around seven in the morning asking her to let me know when it would be convenient for her for me to pick up a cheque. Within five minutes Ann had sent me a text saying ten would be good for her.
I arrived just after ten to find Ann up, about and in fine spirits. “You my lovely are something else, I can’t believe you replied to my email so early!” I told her. ” I know” she said “Isn’t it wonderful, they put me on steroids and I’m absolutely wired. Do you know, yesterday I actually walked around the Garden Centre. Up until now I’ve had to have a wheelchair. I’ve even written your cheque already!” She enthused. We had a long chat about life, her funeral and loads of other totally meaningless rubbish before I left.
I know that Friday might be the last time I see Ann, it won’t be the last time I’m in the house because she has contracted Nathan and I to do more work, on her behalf, posthumously for her son.
On that Friday, Ann had all of a sudden been given some sort of closure to the battle she had been fighting for four years. It was as if she’s been given permission to leave the wreck of her body and move on. I really hope she survives longer than those short eight weeks, but only if she wants to.
As I put the final touches to this, I’m on a train, heading to London and the Royal Marsden with Julie, once more. Since last Saturday she’s been suffering a bit. Her happy juice (morphine) has taken a bit of a battering over the last few days, we even had a conversation where Julie told me if the pain was this bad now, I was to ensure she drank plenty of happy juice so she didn’t suffer any more when she was ready.
Am I capable of following that instruction? Yes I’m capable and brave enough and will do whatever’s required to ensure she doesn’t suffer any more than she wants. Then face the consequences because at that stage, I won’t care that much about me, only Julie, Leah, Hannah and Nathan
Thanks for reading 🙂